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In recognition of your attempts to overthrow the U.S. Government in support of President and CEO Donald J. Trump, we would like to reward you with a fully interactive Mar-A-Lago experience. You’ll learn first hand about what it takes to run a successful business and first class resort.

Knowing your appreciation and desire for self-reliance, we’ve designed an experience like no other. First, you’ll arrive in style in a vehicle of your lease or ownership being fully operated and propelled by fuel of your own purchasing.

Arrival is 4 AM-January 20, 2021

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It’s raining outside. Wet tracks mark the foot traffic on the bank floor. The six foot markers dividing space are fairly new. I’ve been scoping out this same branch for about a week now. These markers are yellow and striped. Two days ago, they were green.

When I stand on the marker, the woman in front of me shoots a look. Her mask has cartoon-esque faces of every conceivable race; some real, some made up. I stand back slowly, place my feet behind the line. Her eyes soften.

When you did a bank before, you just walked in with a…

Instructions From Yoga Class

So, we begin with a gentle stretch, rolling on the back, bringing our knees to our chest, and paying attention to our bodies, not asking too much, and just have a gentle roll…

Next positioning ourselves onto our knees, with our hands beneath our shoulders, elbows elongated, pressing our hands into the mat, for a strong table top pose, pressing our knees into the ground, stretch the spine toward the back of the room, rock to the left elbow, now the right elbow…

Now, we rise to our feet, shoulders back to the wall, chest out…

To call her dress red is absurd. Comparing this red to the cuteness of a ladybug or the most fun part of a rainbow is beyond insult. Her dress is so red it’s black. Such a heavy red only exists in the unnerving fantasies of jealous spouses and the most forbidden parts of a murderer’s mind. Yet, there she is, twirling her unrealistically red dress around in a parking lot. It’s a dank gray parking lot, with vehicles awaiting the most mundane part of someone’s day. These are entry level vehicles for folks with entry level jobs. No roof racks…

In Alabama, Decency Scores Narrow Victory Over Tribalism

Hope and Enthusiasm celebrated this week’s victory of Decency over Tribalism. In an odd twist, normally fickle-minded Disgust aided Decency by peeling 22,819 votes away from Tribalism, which led to Decency’s 671,151 to 650,436 victory.

Tribalism was supported by old friends Fascism and Inept Privilege. Following Tribalism’s defeat, Inept Privilege took to Twitter, credited itself for being right about predicting the election’s outcome, and failed to acknowledge its own ineffectiveness. (But, let’s face it, this shows the fundamental difference between Inept Privilege and plain old ineptitude.) …

We are a group in support of whatever plan the GOP develops to replace the Affordable Care Act.

The GOP’s latest attempt to overhaul healthcare legislation, commonly known as the Graham-Cassidy proposal, has failed. The Senate reported they will not vote on the proposal effectively defeating the measure. Previously, CNN reported Arizona Senator John McCain’s position as follows:

“I cannot in good conscience vote for the Graham-Cassidy proposal,” the Arizona Republican said in a statement. “I believe we could do better working together, Republicans and Democrats, and have not yet really tried. Nor could I support it without knowing how…

It’s easy to step in line and follow the trend that led to the mass shooting targeting Republican law makers. It’s easy to take up sides along the trench dug before us. The lines of division are deep and tempting in 2017.

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The culture of conflict that the led James Hodgkinson to confirm that the folks on the baseball field were Republicans before opening fire is the same that led Dylan Roof to open fire in a church basement in June 2015. It’s a culture that pushes all conversations regarding society and government to the extremes with the direct intent…

Facebook users can be proud. Together we’ve ruined countless marriages and over-thrown the totalitarian government of Egypt. Is there a greater joy than watching a friend’s kid “win” this week’s citizen of the week award, or ignoring an invite to a concert? With this in mind, each of us has sat at a family party and convinced an older relative to join our happy little gang of billions. So, they join. From there, invariably, we see a display of that generation’s unyielding faith in the written word. These folks grew up in a time where “seeing is believing” and the…

Michael Baird

Writer of words, oxford comma user, and wealthy philanthropist. Mike has a collection of short fiction, “Bottom of the Bag” available on Amazon.

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