Patriots and Fighters for Freedom… Your Mar-A-Lago Vacation Package Has Arrived!

In recognition of your attempts to overthrow the U.S. Government in support of President and CEO Donald J. Trump, we would like to reward you with a fully interactive Mar-A-Lago experience. You’ll learn first hand about what it takes to run a successful business and first class resort.

Knowing your appreciation and desire for self-reliance, we’ve designed an experience like no other. First, you’ll arrive in style in a vehicle of your lease or ownership being fully operated and propelled by fuel of your own purchasing.

Arrival is 4 AM-January 20, 2021

From there, you’ll meet our Fabulous Celebrity Chef’s assistant line cook staff and take part in a Celebrity placement of the highest quality ingredients from transport to prep station. You’ll experience the Patriotism and satisfaction of knowing that this task is being done by legal born in the USA Americans.

You can’t imagine the perfumery and ambience you’ll take in as our guests enjoy the wonders you’ve transported when you interact in our world renown exclusive scent enclosure, complete with sanitization accruements.

(Following this enclosure, our continental oatmeal bar is available for your purchase.)

Following the morning’s activities, you’ll be magically connected with Ivanka Trump’s nannie’s aunt for a complete and efficient (unlike Congress!) tour of our fabulous accommodations, including…