Patriots and Fighters for Freedom… Your Mar-A-Lago Vacation Package Has Arrived!

Michael Baird
3 min readJan 29, 2021

In recognition of your attempts to overthrow the U.S. Government in support of President and CEO Donald J. Trump, we would like to reward you with a fully interactive Mar-A-Lago experience. You’ll learn first hand about what it takes to run a successful business and first class resort.

Knowing your appreciation and desire for self-reliance, we’ve designed an experience like no other. First, you’ll arrive in style in a vehicle of your lease or ownership being fully operated and propelled by fuel of your own purchasing.

Arrival is 4 AM-January 20, 2021

From there, you’ll meet our Fabulous Celebrity Chef’s assistant line cook staff and take part in a Celebrity placement of the highest quality ingredients from transport to prep station. You’ll experience the Patriotism and satisfaction of knowing that this task is being done by legal born in the USA Americans.

You can’t imagine the perfumery and ambience you’ll take in as our guests enjoy the wonders you’ve transported when you interact in our world renown exclusive scent enclosure, complete with sanitization accruements.

(Following this enclosure, our continental oatmeal bar is available for your purchase.)

Following the morning’s activities, you’ll be magically connected with Ivanka Trump’s nannie’s aunt for a complete and efficient (unlike Congress!) tour of our fabulous accommodations, including behind the scenes access to sanitization and sterilization park. You’ll engage in hands on removal of actual debris remaining from our guests’ enjoyment of their fantastic American Earned Rights.

Next, on our Freedom Fighter Celebrity Tour, you’ll rub elbows with Sarah Palin’s cardboard cutout.

A fully visible televised edition of Presidential Medal of Freedom Recipient Rush Limbaugh’s radio show will be displayed on one of the channels throughout our luxurious flat screen televisions.

Finally, as you know, five minutes from The Mar-A-Lago Club sits the spectacular Trump International Golf Club, West Palm Beach. You’ll learn first-hand what it takes to keep this award winning jewel looking at its peak condition.

This fully interactive experience includes a repetitive spin on our grass uniformity guarantee equipment. Be sure to bring the kids and enjoy complete access to our hydration specialization tools.

President Donald J. Trump thanks you for your continued support and is proud to offer this once in a lifetime experience for the bargain price of $5,000.00 per American.

Don’t let government taxes keep you from this opportunity, and contact us for low interest financing options.



Michael Baird

Writer of words, oxford comma user, and wealthy philanthropist. Mike has a collection of short fiction, “Bottom of the Bag” available on Amazon.